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Charlie Foxtrot

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Life can be kind of fucked up sometimes.

I don't even know where to start with things right now. I'm a wash with emtoions that I haven't felt in years. I don't even know what to call them, it has been so long since i've experienced them. I guess the best word for them right now is Conflicted. I'm conflicted between taking something I haven't had in so very long and losing it in three weeks, or possibly losing the chance with things forever.

It started with this girl I met. The first night we met, we sat at the top of lot 69's parking structure, talking, and watching the sun rise. Something about this girl…


And here I am. Two weeks later, maybe? Sitting on her floor with her, near her, at five in the morning, not wanting to sleep, not wanting anything in the world besides this. This one singular moment. I want to take everything about this moment, frame it, and hang it above my desk, where I can always look at it, and remember it. Sitting here, talking, feeling, living. I can never talk to anyone. What makes this one different? I can't even talk to my own parents. Yet here I am. Comfortable. More than comfortable.


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Ryan Rix is a computer infrastructure fanboy who dabbles in decentralized systems. Reach him on twitter as @rrrrrrrix, via email to ryan@whatthefuck.computer or on Facebook or on Matrix as @rrix:kickass.systems.